


truth, like a wave, like forgiveness

by rarmaster



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Gen, kratos has a bad time, secret reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarmaster/pseuds/rarmaster
Summary: Lloyd finds out the truth at Asgard Ranch. Things go better than one might expect.





	truth, like a wave, like forgiveness

The news crashed over Lloyd like waves in the ocean; for a moment it was hard to see which way was up. His mom, an escapee from the human ranch? The exsphere in his hand, made from her lifeforce? The man in front of him… Kvar… his mom’s killer…

He was stepping forward, fists clenched, before he realized himself.

“ _You_ killed my mom!?” he demanded. There was rage in his throat, a storm in his belly. His vision blurred with the strength of it.

“Now now, don’t blame me,” Kvar said. His tone was sweet, but his eyes burned with some sick kind of enjoyment. “ _I’m_ not the one who killed Anna. Your father did.” He grinned widely. “Isn’t that right, Kratos?”

If Lloyd had found which way was up, with those words he lost it immediately, spinning wildly in a sea of confusion.

“What does Kratos have to do with this?” Colette’s voice. Distant. Lloyd wondered the same, but his mind spun with other things.

His _father_ had killed his…? No. There was no way.

“Don’t you dare, Kvar!” Kratos’ voice. Similarly distant, through the roar in Lloyd’s ears. But he did register, dimly, that Kratos sounded angrier than Lloyd had ever heard him before.

Lloyd found his voice.

“LIAR!” he shouted at Kvar, swiping his hand through the air. He refused to believe Kvar’s accusations about his father. He _refused_. “I don’t know anything about my dad, but I know that he’d have no reason to kill my mother!”

Kvar laughed. “It’s not a lie,” he said, matter-of-fact. “You can ask him yourself, if you’d like. After all, he’s standing right next to you.”

Lloyd’s heart stopped.

His father was…? Slowly, he turned to follow Kvar’s smug line of sight, even though he already knew who he would see.

“K- _Kratos_!?”

Kratos didn’t turn and look at him. His shoulders were tense, his body trembling, hand gripping the hilt of his sword. Lloyd took a step back, reeling under the weight of this revelation.

“ _You’re_ my—” But he didn’t need to finish the question, because he knew. He wasn’t dumb. Kratos certainly had taken a particular interest in his mom’s grave, the first day he met him, and Kratos had taken an interest in his exsphere, too. (No wonder, if this thing held his mom’s lifeforce.) And then there was the way Kratos acted around him, gentle though he tried to hide it, fondness and love slipping through the cracks of the mask he put on.

Kratos’ mask now cracked and gave way to despair. “KVAAAAAR!” he screamed, drawing his sword and rushing forward. Lloyd had never seen Kratos this upset. He thought sure Kratos would slice Kvar clean through, except five Desians stepped forward to shield their commander, and Sheena slid into place in front of Kratos.

“Get back!” she snapped. “Do you want to die?!”

For a second, Lloyd feared Kratos might slice her in half, too, but he didn’t.

“I don’t care if he ticked you off! Have you _looked_ at these numbers?” Sheena gestured at the twenty or so more Desians that stood behind Kvar and the five others. “We’ll. Be. _Killed_ ,” she hissed. Then she dug and retrieved a card from somewhere within the folds of her outfit. From it popped one of her spirits, and a screen of smoke to provide cover. “Come on!”

It was hard to see, it was hard to think, but Lloyd followed Sheena’s voice and managed to keep up. His thoughts weren’t on their escape, though. They were on… Kratos.

Kratos was his…?

 

 

They ran through the woods outside the ranch for a little while, but it wasn’t long before Sheena all called them to a stop.

“Okay, this is probably far enough?” she said. “We can stop here and figure out… whatever the fuck that was.” She sent the whole lot of them a disapproving look, which Lloyd flinched under.

He wasn’t sure what to do. His hands clenched into fists. He was firmly aware of Kratos’ presence now, somewhere behind him, firmly aware of Kratos being here and what that _meant._ He just wasn’t sure how to react… Where to start… Where was he supposed to start?

“KRATOS IS LLOYD’S DAD!?!” Genis shouted, breaking the tension. Lloyd let out a small sigh of relief. “I mean, that was totally obvious in hindsight,” Genis continued, trying to sound high-and-mighty as usual. “I _knew_ he was playing favorites!”

“Honestly, I can’t believe we didn’t notice sooner,” Raine commented. She sounded disappointed. “My memory tells me he wasn’t exactly being subtle.”

“Lloyd?” Colette asked, taking a step towards him. Lloyd turned to her, flashing her the best smile he could muster because he appreciated that she was worried about _him_ in the wake of all this.

Given confidence by Colette’s concern, Lloyd turned to face Kratos.

“What Kvar said. About my mom.” Lloyd thought maybe this wasn’t the best place to start, but he had to know.  “Is that. Is it true?”

Kratos didn’t answer for a long moment. He didn’t even look up at Lloyd. He just stared at his hands, trembling.

“Y… yes,” he answered, finally, his voice cracking around the sound. “I killed her.”

Lloyd swallowed. He wanted to be angry, but it was hard. Never before had he heard a man sound so broken.

“ _Why_ …?” he asked.

Kratos squeezed his eyes shut. “They. They removed her exsphere.” He grit out the words like they were shards of glass on his tongue, his hands clenched into fists, sweating. “They removed her exsphere, and she- she- she _transformed_ …” He couldn’t seem to finish.

Lloyd took a deep breath, and he nodded. That was all he needed to know.

“Kratos,” he said.

But it was like Kratos didn’t even hear him.

“Lloyd she begged and I- I didn’t _want_ to I would never want to but- _but_ —”

“Kratos, really it’s,” Lloyd tried, holding his hands up.

“If I hadn’t she would have- she would have—”

“ _Dad_.”

Kratos stopped immediately.

He blinked a few times then looked up at Lloyd. Slowly his eyes came back into focus.

“Lloyd,” he said.

Lloyd was grateful everyone else in their party had backed off to give them some space. He moved towards Kratos, his legs shaking. He should probably tell Kratos that it was okay, he forgave him, but the emotion swelling in his chest was too distracting.

“Dad,” he repeated, his hands unsteady as he reached up and touched Kratos’ face. He just wanted to feel the reality of Kratos, in this new light. Wanted to feel Kratos’ existence, now that he knew that it meant for him. Tears burned in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or to cry. Wasn’t sure what the emotion in his chest was, just knew it was filling him to bursting. “You’re my _dad_ …”

Kratos looked like he didn’t even know how to begin to respond.

“I… yes,” he answered. It was so awkward, like he had no idea what he was doing, but honestly Lloyd didn’t know either. He just knew he felt… _happy._

Yeah, he was really happy.

Happy and…

A little annoyed.

Pulling his hands away, he whacked Kratos on the shoulder, as hard as he could.

“ _Bastard_!” he spat. “Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Kratos didn’t flinch at all, just took the hit and the insult with it. Even dumbstruck, he was somehow still like a stone.

“I… I didn’t know how to,” he said.

He looked… lost. It was such a strange expression on him. To see Kratos, calm, collected, knows-all-the-answers _Kratos,_ look like he had no idea what to do now… The sight made joy and fondness well up in Lloyd’s chest, and he _laughed_. He laughed and he threw his arms around Kratos, _his dad,_ hugging him tight. He expected Kratos not to respond, but Kratos did, wrapping his arms around Lloyd and pinning him to his chest with a crushing hug that made Lloyd laugh even harder.

He couldn’t believe it. After all these years, his dad wasn’t someone he was never going to get to meet, but someone he already knew and was actually quite fond of. How could things be any better than this?

Oh yeah.

“About mom?” Lloyd said, since they hadn’t finished that conversation. He wondered if he should let go of Kratos, since it’d be easier to talk, but he didn’t want to move.

“Yes?” Kratos said. Lloyd could _feel_ the breath catch in his lungs.

“I forgive you.” Lloyd squeezed his father a little tighter, because maybe that’d help him believe it.

Kratos hesitated. “You don’t… have to.”

“Well it’d be kind of hypocritical if I didn’t,” Lloyd admitted. “I killed Marble. Like… _I_ didn’t, but also, I did, you know? So I get it.”

Kratos responded by holding Lloyd closer, his hand on the back of Lloyd’s head, tucking it under his chin.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment, and his voice cracked over the words again, chest heaving with the effort of them.

“It’s okay,” Lloyd said. He clung to his father tightly. “It’s okay.”

 

 

 _(As far as Kratos was concerned, no it really wasn’t, because nothing about a world where his_ son _had to carry that weight was ‘okay’, and there were a lot of things that weren’t going to be okay later, now that Lloyd knew the truth, but…_

_He supposed, for right now, he was glad he didn’t have to pretend anymore._

_So he held Lloyd close, and relished in the fact that he could_.)


End file.
